Something keeps bothering me right now.
My father have to resign by the end of this month. Health condition, his hip bone and back bone sort of slipped,so he is limping right now. The back bone disc also sort of have some tumor.
Right now im just wondering over lots of things. What should i do.
I cant really get good paying job right now.
I also need to find some sort of income to help the family.
In the mean time i still wants to travel.
Somehow i also been thinking should i just go die in syria?
Afraid that in the after life, i would not have enough good deeds to allow me to go to heaven.
Even think that i should just rear goats on the family estate.not even close to 1acre3.
im not even married yet.in the future can i support my family.
Can i fullfill my childs desire,or we are stuck in the 'bimbo' cycle.hahah
Can i make them happy.or they detest me like i detest my father.
Also,today we got our internet line cut off.he cant pay for the bills anymore. And tonight our house,theres a blackout.thunder struck the house. Amidst the flashlight glare and darkness shadow, i saw my father's look. How deep inside be is saddened by all thats happening to him. And the useless son who is leeching on him after saying that he'd left the house for good.
All and all, though i cant say this to you, im sorry dad.
Haah..if only you are still here farah,you would be disgusted with me as well.hahah
