being grateful (babling version)

grateful for today i have successfully submitted my final year project proposal although there are some mistakes on that report.(which i realised after the printings were done).still,i feel so grateful because theres so many help from allah that i recieved in the form of coincidences today.(too many to be told).

i cant help but feel envious to those married couples out there.because almost every pray after my prayer i would ask that i could get married faster.but also because i havent done any effort towards getting more money to ask for her hand, probably that is why i didnt get into marriage yet right now. :) but still.im grateful because i can still keep in touch with her.i even can confirm her love towards me.(though she never say them in words). grateful i am because i have somebody to love me back from the 1 i loved too.

my saying these because i know some people who can only see from far their crush and do not get the chance to be loved by that person. also there is many people hurt from being dumped by their loved one. still..although love before marriage is a forbidden thing.i realy feel grateful because i am engaged to someone i love. :)

my writing today is a bit off because im sleep deprieved..(didnt sleep last night because of the proposal up until this hour)

whoaaaaa

thats what i blurted out when i saw a blogger friend who have 351 followers(and all are people i know!) hahah..and they barely come to my page. how sad. but its okay. i dont think i need that amount of followers.

ill just consider my posts as intended to those lucky chosen people out there. hehee..though amount seems like a big thing,but i think whats born from my readers heart towards my posts matters most.

others:you still do not want to admit that people doesnt care about what you say?
me: (-_-")

but its okay.to my followers..
thank you very much!

ども　ありがと　ございます

know what.i think i want to make a japanese reading class for free for all of you :)
maybe after my final year project?

and thats for now, with love to all assalamualaikum :)

regret

Nah,i dont want to lament about anything.its just something i heard from a vlogger in youtube. :)

"post something that you would not regret about in the afteryears.. :D

to think about that,im already beginning to regret 1 or 2 of my posts in here.maybe they are too emotional i guess. but isnt that why you blog?so that you can share your feelings with the world? i dont know.in fact,i think i dont know anything about this world..

others:what are you babling about? CRAZY.
me:sorry..

well,this might be a bit boring post.but,what to do. well,there you go.a small post for the day.

thank you

thats all i can get from her? does only thanks is worth for me?cant i get more?cant she just tell that she love me?dont you know that it hurts me?it hurts me real bad.i cant stand living like this.i cant pretend like her.she is good.she is pious.its just that she is too good and pious that i dont deserve to get her?

how i wish i could just get her hands.is it worth for me to continue my pursue for her?i really want her.but i cant live like this.i will definitely lose my mind. damnit i only wanted to be loved.is that hard for her to even just pretend for me??just pretend that she loves me?why?why did she make me like this?

melepas tension

this is 1 of the scenes from the mangrove forest in my home town. it is such a relief to be there.

today is my first time rowing a boat.things were such a mess.i kept on circling in the same spot because i dont know how to use double rows heheh..

for a few seconds i could actualy take my mind off her. hah..who couldnt if the view is so breathtaking..heheh..

i went to fish but couldnt catch any.but came my dad to the rescue.he brought a fishing net.but because the tide is on,he only managed to catch a couple of prawns and a single cichlid.

ah,malas aku nak cakap pasai dia..aku tau aku lepas tensen aku..walaupun sesaat..kenapa ar hang xnak bagi aku rasa macam tu?kenapa ar aku mesti kena seksa lagu ni?xlayak ka aku??

its killing me

love is poison that you willingly swallow. i finally admit this. i have been feeling it ever since i know her.

i have told her that i want her and i need her and i hope that she will be mine and that we would be together.but still..why is it so hard for her to say she loves me?

though i respect her stand. still it hurts every time. is it hard for her to admit that she love me? is it so hard for her to say that she loves me? i think she is the result of me breaking all those girls' heart. i understand how it hurt.

how i wish she would come up to me one day and really say that she loves me. how i really wish. this feeling stings. it really does. deep and hard.

it makes me lose my mind.it really does. i wish and i hope and i pray. that one day,she will come by herself to say it to me.

really.all i hope is just she say those three words to me willingly. even once will do.

para mi padre

for my father.
this i found on his FB today.heheh..often did i think him reminiscing his memories in australia was craps. i think he was boasting his memories to us.

but as i saw his comments on the pictures. it hit me. how memories are precious to people.that is 1 of the most precious memories and experience for him. how i wish i could take him and my mother there one day. :)