I am leaving

Tomorrow is the day. I am going to leave for real. Moving towards the unknown. There are many things i believe i am going to miss...

1. I am going to miss my home.
The roof provided for me. Its my parents's of course but it is FREE!! Free food,free shelter,free utilities. Really going to miss being here. I feel quite sentimental for a bit this evening just now.

1.1 (hahah..just an honorary mention)
I am going to miss that dank space i call my room. Place i can feel really rested. Where most of my burden are steamed off and i can relax.

There lies my pc. My unfinished projects,my bed. Place where i go to to waste most of my time. Place where i can actually call being at home.

2. I am going to miss my life.
The few friends i made along the path of my life. I am going to miss gaming and the games i tried. I am going to miss the free times i used to have.the leisure time.returning from work,just lounge in front of my pc doing nothing. The easy going job i used to have. I dont think i can find a better job anywhere else. I will also miss the freedom that i had. Do what i want, be anywhere i want to be. Buy anything i want to buy. These two years were the best of my life. To be true, i felt quite scared jumping this leap of faith. Felt like even if i die, i will not have any better life than i used to have these past two years.

3. (A little cliché d mentions)
I am going to miss my family.
Hahah.. Even in my afterlife, i am really going to regret this. But i am going regret not being a fillial son to my father and my mother.
I am going to regret not being a good eldest brother to my other 7 siblings..
I am going to regret not being able to be there when all their important events of their life unfold. I really hope to see they got their first jobs. Want to them get married. (Want to see how their wives will fare compared to mine?) Hahah.. Want to see their children and grandchildren. Becoming an uncle and grandparent for them and mine own..

End note. Hahah it is as people used to said. You are going to learn missing family when you are far, and you are going to learn missing your home when you are on the road.

In the end, on this journey,i hope that i will learn to know more about myself. I will grow more pious than i am right now. I will also attain divine grace from god. Hoping to free my brothers and sisters out there.

To think i would die soon just made me realise how attached i am to this world.how afraid i am of death. Of hell. Of not having anymore bliss in this world and hereafter.

To anyone who read this,please. Tell my parents, i am sorry for not being there. I am sorry i am such an unfilial son. Forgive me mom, dad. Assalamialaikum. :)