MAN UP,MAN!

today is really a normal day like every other.
i went to work,and now i am home again.

having slept the entire evening off, i woke up feeling quite calm and eased.
sat down and take a look at my family faces.
saw my mom..my brothers..my sisters..

then it occurred to me.
if my father is dead,it is up to me to raise them. Being the eldest son in the family.

truthfully,i have spent so many time chasing love.
Boasting what a family man that i will be.. when i cant even be there for my real family right now.
what a waste.

i believe I've had it.this is wasting time.
good night fa. I will not be chasing you again.
so long,and good bye. :)

i have my own family to attend to.
besides, I don't really even matter to you at all.
Just a weight on your back. :)

going out

tomorrow is going to be something.

well the past week is something already.

i have infiltrated a local varsity somewhere in malaysia.
stayed in one of the dorm there.
felt nice.heheh.

but tomorrow i am going to meet that someone.
hope that it work.

i hate how she neglects my calls and texts.
need some room?yeah right.
really felt like she have lost her feel for me
is there anything wrong?
i wonder what is my fault this time.

seriously,this feeling of almost losing her,
this feeling of not being loved anymore.it hurts.
it really hurts.i wonder how to brace the fall if she says we are to have nothing anymore.
afraid that she would finally dump me.
how scary. :)

hopefully god will help me through this.
all and all,pray for me k.anyone? :)

looking through deadman's eye

yesterday i went through a dead person's fb.

scrolling through pictures and pictures of them.

and so i wonder.

if i were to die today.what would i leave behind.?
what would i feel in my grave?
what good does it make to the world?

pondering about life

looking back in life.
kawan aku dah achieve flight! aku,masih di sini..kat malaysia

kawan aku dah kawin! n aku,masih dekat sini mengharap datang masa sesuai untuk aku kawin pulak.

shit all this.shit my life.shit..heheh..

i am lifeless.

tengoklah tahun depan.

i am leaving all this bullshit for a better cause.

huu

today in remembrance

JULY 10TH 2012
remembrance OF man.you are dismissed from your trainee-ship

in the future,do not bow down to others.you are your own boss..hehehe..somehow i felt glad and i feel like i am so very free right now.

looking up to the future.pick your path:

1.learn religion knowledge and spread them
2.start up your own business and be multimillionaire by 2020
3.work with some other place as SPM qualified and get paid monthly with meagre amounts enough for yourself.repeat this daily and die with lots of regrets.your wife will leave you and your child will hate you.debtors chase you daily.

all and all i hope so very much that i will get married early and succeed in option 1 and  2.

kerana tiba-tiba

hari ini jari aku kepingin menari
kerana hari ini hati dan akal aku tidak selari
hati,mengatakan aku ingin menjerit sepuas sekali
tapi akalku jeritkan jangan...engkau malu nanti..
aku tahankan
lantas jariku kembali menari.
kerana mungkin aku ini terlalu bangang sekali
atau mungkin kerana aku ini bengong tak terkali.
aku hendak berseni lagi
tapi aku tak ada hati
aku jugak tak ada minda seni
yang aku ada
cuma rasa nak mencurah rasa dalam tiba-tiba
kerana aku hendak berkongsi bersama gerang semua.

ranting on jiwa kosong

writing on jiwa kosong..sebab sekarang aku berasa teramat kerunsingan.
kurang kasih sayang jiwa cinta hilang.
rasa terseksakan kerana terpinggir tanpa kasih sayang dari seorang yang aku ingin selalu panggilkan sayang.
bangangkah aku kerana mengharapkan tanpa ada bekalan..
hendak saja aku jeritkan aku perlukan engkau.
hendak saja aku rampaskan dari keibubapakan engkau.
terhadap jiwa cinta hilang.
maafkan aku kerana mendendamkan hak kasih tak tercapaikan
tapi aku masih selalu mengharapkan.
pulangkan kepangkuan.
cinta yang tak tersampaikan.