today in remembrance

JULY 10TH 2012
remembrance OF man.you are dismissed from your trainee-ship

in the future,do not bow down to others.you are your own boss..hehehe..somehow i felt glad and i feel like i am so very free right now.

looking up to the future.pick your path:

1.learn religion knowledge and spread them
2.start up your own business and be multimillionaire by 2020
3.work with some other place as SPM qualified and get paid monthly with meagre amounts enough for yourself.repeat this daily and die with lots of regrets.your wife will leave you and your child will hate you.debtors chase you daily.

all and all i hope so very much that i will get married early and succeed in option 1 and  2.

kerana tiba-tiba

hari ini jari aku kepingin menari
kerana hari ini hati dan akal aku tidak selari
hati,mengatakan aku ingin menjerit sepuas sekali
tapi akalku jeritkan jangan...engkau malu nanti..
aku tahankan
lantas jariku kembali menari.
kerana mungkin aku ini terlalu bangang sekali
atau mungkin kerana aku ini bengong tak terkali.
aku hendak berseni lagi
tapi aku tak ada hati
aku jugak tak ada minda seni
yang aku ada
cuma rasa nak mencurah rasa dalam tiba-tiba
kerana aku hendak berkongsi bersama gerang semua.

ranting on jiwa kosong

writing on jiwa kosong..sebab sekarang aku berasa teramat kerunsingan.
kurang kasih sayang jiwa cinta hilang.
rasa terseksakan kerana terpinggir tanpa kasih sayang dari seorang yang aku ingin selalu panggilkan sayang.
bangangkah aku kerana mengharapkan tanpa ada bekalan..
hendak saja aku jeritkan aku perlukan engkau.
hendak saja aku rampaskan dari keibubapakan engkau.
terhadap jiwa cinta hilang.
maafkan aku kerana mendendamkan hak kasih tak tercapaikan
tapi aku masih selalu mengharapkan.
pulangkan kepangkuan.
cinta yang tak tersampaikan.

darkness in my heart

WITH TEARS IN MY EYES

im a man..but still i cry like woman

i really hope that you will read this fa..

i want to marry you..i really do

i beg i pray and i cry in my prayers..but still why does god does not wed us yet??

i love you. and i dont want to be anything to you except
your husband. i want to have you as my own. i want you to be by my side.

is it really hard for me to even have that tiny bit of blessing from him??

or is it you that is always praying that we dont get married?

i want you..i really do fa..

-29/8/2010/-with tears in my eyes..again..

raging in my heart..bursting in my mind

ANGER

i am bursting with anger with this old man!

how stupid can he be??limiting access to the pc

that even updates cant be done..

making a high end pc operate sluggish run?

how hard can life be with him!

fuck you man..fuck you DAD!!fuckkKKKKKKKKKkkkkkk

unfair life

im really beginning to regret living.
chasing after something that is hard to get.
how far fetched from becoming reality.
i have really given up on believeng.
im never going to ask from him again.

all those deeds ive done,all are worthless.
i hate my life right now.
all those shitty rules.
all those demands.
all those stupid materialistic worn out hell borne bastards.

i really hate with whats going on right now.
if really there is good returns for everything you did.
i demand what i ask for be given to me.
all my life has become worthless.
all those practices ive done are worth nothing.

i broke my laptop

that's right..with just a big punch on the keyboard(exactly over the hard disk part.)
and now it does not show any display anymore.even the bios does not load up.the screen do lit up but with a black color. also it do load i guess because the indicators lit up normally.

need to look further into this later.maybe after my final exams..
that's rite only a week away for my final day..sad..but nothing i can do :( dont have notes to read(they are all electronically kept in my lappy)

there come the annoying indian..got to go..bye..

im not racist but i do hate this one indian guy..later i will write more about this motherfucker.