darkness in my heart

WITH TEARS IN MY EYES

im a man..but still i cry like woman

i really hope that you will read this fa..

i want to marry you..i really do

i beg i pray and i cry in my prayers..but still why does god does not wed us yet??

i love you. and i dont want to be anything to you except
your husband. i want to have you as my own. i want you to be by my side.

is it really hard for me to even have that tiny bit of blessing from him??

or is it you that is always praying that we dont get married?

i want you..i really do fa..

-29/8/2010/-with tears in my eyes..again..

raging in my heart..bursting in my mind

ANGER

i am bursting with anger with this old man!

how stupid can he be??limiting access to the pc

that even updates cant be done..

making a high end pc operate sluggish run?

how hard can life be with him!

fuck you man..fuck you DAD!!fuckkKKKKKKKKKkkkkkk

unfair life

im really beginning to regret living.
chasing after something that is hard to get.
how far fetched from becoming reality.
i have really given up on believeng.
im never going to ask from him again.

all those deeds ive done,all are worthless.
i hate my life right now.
all those shitty rules.
all those demands.
all those stupid materialistic worn out hell borne bastards.

i really hate with whats going on right now.
if really there is good returns for everything you did.
i demand what i ask for be given to me.
all my life has become worthless.
all those practices ive done are worth nothing.

i broke my laptop

that's right..with just a big punch on the keyboard(exactly over the hard disk part.)
and now it does not show any display anymore.even the bios does not load up.the screen do lit up but with a black color. also it do load i guess because the indicators lit up normally.

need to look further into this later.maybe after my final exams..
that's rite only a week away for my final day..sad..but nothing i can do :( dont have notes to read(they are all electronically kept in my lappy)

there come the annoying indian..got to go..bye..

im not racist but i do hate this one indian guy..later i will write more about this motherfucker.

down memory lane v3.0(if not mistaken)

look what i found.(but just it's picture from someone's facebook)
i once like some kids out there wanted to be 'in trend' :) so i tried to buy this digivice from my classmate. but its already so badly scarred and half of the display is damaged.

but that's that and i bought them for rm40.and so i had them in my hand,afterwards i unscrewed it with hope to repair the display but i did not know what to do and i just damaged that thing,when i tried to get a refund he just refused to give it back to me.sad but that's the only digivice that i ever had. ;0

others:serve you right stupid!!
me:sorry :(

new camera!!!

yayyy..hehee..although its not fully mine..(just take it off my father's hand for maybe a few weeks or months.but still..no more video cam pictures for me now(maybe not for long) hehee..

well,this is actually a post after i saw one of my friend's blog post of her car. :)

http://plasticpill.blogspot.com/2011/05/combi-oh-combi.html?spref=fb

and so,there we go. but the thing is.just as i got my (borrowed) camera. i think i lost the mood to take pictures and also i think i am too shy to take these camera out in the open.(dont want to show off)

so,what should i do?

and also do comment about my photoshopping skill (as you can see from the camera picture that i uploaded) how is it?
i just self thought myself photoshop..

LIFELESS PATHETIC LAMENT V1.3: blurry again

just updating because of my blogwalking.hmmm...reading how they are struggling to further their studies make ponder upon myself.
when i graduated.what should i do with my life.i do want to get better certificates other than diploma.but i dont know what to do with my life.

what course should i take?what field should i enter?
there are some in mind.how i hope anybody can help me decide.

SHOULD I BE:

1.a teacher
2.further explore mechatronics,and perhaps pioneer biomechatronics in malaysia.
3.an architect?(my middle school ambition)

hehee..hopefully anyone that reads this can help me :)